


Clara and Cosima : Dinner Party

by ClaraAndEmily (ClaraAndMeAIT)



Series: Clara and Cosima [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Dinner Party, Fluff, Gen, One Liners
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:30:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7591174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaraAndMeAIT/pseuds/ClaraAndEmily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dinner party where a few of Doctor Who's Clara Echoes and the Orphan Black Clone Club meet and hilarity ensues. </p><p>One off stand alone from an idea I had in the comments of my Sapphire Date story.</p><p>And complete fluff! Lol</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clara and Cosima : Dinner Party

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HermioneSpencer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermioneSpencer/gifts).



> Ok so this is a three parter and bit of a laugh.
> 
> Clara and Cosima (seeing each other but not for very long) arrange a dinner party so all their friends can meet.
> 
> It's at Alison's house, generic characters, no specific point in time - please don't get too bogged down with how and why all these people have turned up at the same place at the same time...
> 
> just accept it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara goes to meet the Clone Club and there is an unexpected visitor at the door.
> 
> Who could it be?
> 
> :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so we have the obligatory set up chapter here. 
> 
> I've not written anything like this for months (since the OFSTED day and the hangover breakfast in Chance Meeting) - I'm trying to restrict myself to keep this short but I don't think it's going to happen as I'm loving the amount of one liners it's creating lol.

Clara knocked loudly on the front door of the suburban house, slightly nervous as it was the first time she'd met anyone from Cosima's circle of friends. It was 7pm on a Saturday evening in August and was still light outside. A shadow appeared in the glass panel of the door, back lit by natural light inside. Clara smoothed down her navy fitted thigh length dress, picked a piece of lint off her black tights and adjusted the skull pin she was wearing on her right lapel, looking up to the ceiling as she waited.

"You can do this," Clara muttered to herself, forcing a confident smile as the door opened as she saw Cosima's head appear in the space.

"Hey," Cosima smiled, displaying her dimples, opening the door fully. "You made it," she said in her American lilt. She was wearing black suit trousers, an olive green fitted tank top and dark blue cardigan, pulled up on the arms to the elbows.

"Yes, yes I did," Clara nodded nervously able to see frantic activity in the background behind Cosima as she stepped up from the porch into the immaculate house. The walls were mainly magnolia, there were several open plan spaces leading from the hallway and a large staircase that lead up on the left.

"And wow," Cosima blushed as she closed the door, "you look... absolutely amazing." She paused to cast her eyes over Clara's dress, smirk one sidedly and kiss Clara gently on the cheek.

"So do you, and thank you," Clara smiled, knowing how long it had taken her to get ready, "thought I'd, you know, make the effort." She put her hands around Cosima's waist, laughing once. "Is it too much?"

"Not at all-" Cosima grinned, snaking her right hand onto Clara's neck.

"Well hi," said a Canadian voice to Clara's right, "hello," said a woman who looked identical to Cosima but with a high ponytail and an eyebrow skirting fringe. She was wearing a baby pink perfectly fitted shirt with only the top button undone and dark blue jeans. She extended her right hand out for a handshake. "Hi, I'm Alison," she smiled widely. She was unabating in her enthusiasm.

"Clara," she said, moving away from Cosima and forward a step to shake Alison's hand lightly. 

Alison smiled politely for a second and then grimaced, looking down. She pointed down, "shoes," she said quietly.

"Shoes?" Clara said confused.

"No shoes," Alison said pointedly, "in the house."

"Oh," said Clara, instantly retreating, "sorry... sorry." She bent down to release the small buckle on both of the shoes, stepping out of them and instantly losing three inches of height. She picked them up and located them to a collection of others on the left that she hadn't noticed earlier.

"Shame... I liked them," said Cosima, eyes glinting.

"So now, please, come in, make yourself at home," Alison smiled as she returned to being suffocatingly happy, "I love your dress, where's it from?"

"Thanks, I got it from a boutique near Portobello Road," she replied. It had cost her over two weeks wages.

"Port-o-bello Road?" Alison said slowly and creased her eyebrows, "where's that?"

"It's in London," said a British accent from behind Alison, "Mrs M used to take me and Fee there." Another identical woman appeared on Alison's left, dressed in skin tight black jeans, a long draped grey t-shirt and a leather jacket. Her hair was down, slightly tousled and she was chewing gum. "West London, would definitely be your area of London," she directed at Alison, "all posh and shit." Seeing Cosima and two other identical figures was a little creepy but still a little fascinating.

"Thank you," said Alison stuffily. "Well, we don't all dress like we're in a- a- death metal concert."

"Clara," Cosima said, "this is Sarah, Sarah, Clara." Clara could see Sarah watching her with a look that could only be suspicion as she leaned up against the bannister with her right elbow.

"Hi," Clara said, waving slightly. There was a loud crash from another room.

Alison rolled her eyes and disappeared away, shouting, "for god's sake Donnie!" once she was around the corner. 

"Which part of London you from?" Sarah asked as Clara approached following Cosima to what appeared to be a large lounge area.

"Blackpool," Clara said, testing her, "originally."

"Bloody hell, Cos," Sarah laughed, "you didn't tell me you were seeing a northerner. Fee!" she shouted to a tall young man in the other room.

"Yes," he appeared swiftly, saying in an upper class British accent, "what's the-" he paused, catching sight of Clara, "well hello... and who is this?" he grinned. He was impossibly thin and had a mop of brown hair immaculately quiffed. He was wearing a white vest top, black ripped jeans and light grey high top trainers.

"This is Clara," Cosima waved with her hand.

"And she is... adorable," Felix smiled widely, "and dressed to impress."

"Is it too much?" Clara asked blushing, pulling her dress down, feeling very overdressed. 

"Hun," Felix shook his head and held up his right hand, "nothing is ever to much. You look fabulous. And if you don't find your shoes later... I've taken them."

Clara laughed, smiling up at him,almost two feet higher than her head now. "I would appreciate if you didn't, I will need the height to go home."

"Leave her alone, Felix," said Cosima loudly.

"I must say, I am impressed Cosima," Felix purred, holding Clara's hand gently, "even if she is from up't north. Sarah," his eyes twinkled, "did we get some chips and gravy in?"

Sarah laughed, slinking past to sit on a nearby cream sofa. "I don't think so, Fee."

Clara held her tongue, wanting to fire a retort back, as she wasn't sure how to read the situation, settling for a light laugh and a playful narrowing of her eyes as she took her hand away. 

"So what part of London?" Sarah leaning back.

"Currently Clapham, but I work in Shoreditch," Clara said, moving herself to stand next to Cosima.

"Shoreditch," Felix dismissed with a wave of his hand, "oh please. Very wanky. We were Camden," Felix replied, sitting on a large armchair to Sarah's right.

"I know it," Clara nodded. "Had a few nights at the Black Cap."

Alison hurried into the room with a platter of canapés. "Please, please," she said to Clara, "sit down!" she set the tray on a small coffee table.

A well built man wearing a turquoise jumper and beige trousers emerged from the kitchen, "drinks anyone?" He threw a tea towel over his right shoulder and put his left arm around Alison's waist. "Donnie," he said to Clara, pointing at himself, "welcome to our home!"

"Donnie," Alison said through gritted teeth whilst smiling, "I've already told her that."

"Sorry," Donnie conceded, cowering slightly.

Another woman appeared from a door on the opposite side of the hallway, again identical to Cosima but with frizzy blonde hair. She grinned at Clara widely with eyes that unsettled her a great deal. She was wearing navy dungarees, undone on one side, a white tshirt and a grey long length cardigan. 

"I would leave it minute," she announced in a Russian accent to the group as she walked slowly to stand in front of Clara, not breaking eye contact. There were stifled groans and laughs around the room.

"Really, Helena?" said Felix.

"Yes really Felix," Helena grunted. "So this new Delphine?" she said, tracing her left index finger down Clara's right cheek. 

Clara swallowed heavily, unable to stop herself leaning backwards, turning her head slightly scared. "Umm... hello?"

"Helena," Cosima corrected her, moving Helena's hand away, "this is Clara."

"Clara," Helena said slowly, still staring, "Clara, yes." She was uncomfortably close. "You hurt my sestra, I hurt you," Helena hissed at Clara, pointing with her right hand and then making a slicing movement across her own neck.

"Really wasn't planning to," Clara said quietly, recoiling. 

"Good. Very pretty," Helena nodded to Cosima and then sauntered off to the kitchen, lingering a gaze at Clara that was a few seconds too long to be just in.

"Thanks," Clara said weakly, pure terror flowing through every inch of her body, Cosima had warned her previously a few days ago but she found herself making a mental note to not be anywhere alone with Helena.

"Don't worry about her," laughed Sarah, leaning back on the sofa, "she likes you." 

Clara unconsciously wondered what would have happened if Helena didn't. "Oh," she laughed nervously, "right." She saw Helena catch her eye from the kitchen whilst holding a large knife, shuddering, trying to ignore her. 

"So drinks?" said Donnie. "Anyone?"

"I'll have wine," said Cosima.

"Wine," said Clara, trying to raise a smile. She needed wine. Lots of wine. 

"Of course," Donnie smiled, heading towards the kitchen, leaving Alison to fuss around, plumping the cushions.

"White wine, Donnie," Alison called out as an afterthought, "not..." she said quietly, "the red!" She stormed off.

Clara followed Cosima to sit on the sofa in front of them when there was a knock at the door.

"Oh, that's probably Krystal," said Cosima, heading to the door, "she said she was running late-" there was a pause after the door opened, "Clara," Cosima said loudly out of view, "I think it's for you."

"What?" said Clara, standing up to investigate, folding her arms and padding to the front door. "I want expecting anyone." 

"Umm," Cosima pointed, "what is he doing here?" she asked. After she had told the Doctor she was seeing Cosima he had done everything he possibly could to sabotage most of their subsequent meetings. It was fair to say the mood between Cosima and the Doctor was a little frosty at the moment. "And I presume these people that look exactly like you are for you?"

Clara looked outside to see the Doctor and two of her Echoes outside on the porch. "What?" she said to herself, surprised. "How... What?" 

"Woah, OK, this is... unexpected. So I'm going to disappear," Cosima laughed incredulous, repositioning her glasses, muttering, "and you can tell Alison you brought three extra people with you. Sure that will go down well. Hope you brought some lead balloons as well."

"Doctor," Clara said through gritted teeth, "what the hell are you doing here?" She aimed a narrow stare at him. He had opted for quite possibly the most casual outfit he had, a distressed black jumper, a grey hoodie, tartan trousers and his black overcoat.

"You said you were going to a clone party," the Doctor said, puzzled, "when you go to a foam party there's always lots of-"

"I said I was going to a dinner party to meet," Clara emphasised the next word, "the clones," she glared at him. "We went through this, I told you that Cosima, has lots of identical sisters and I was coming to meet them."

"Oh," the Doctor realised. 

"Yes, oh. So why... have you turned up with a two of my echoes?" She pointed at the two versions of her stood to the Doctor's left. "Which ones are you?" she said resigned.

"Oswin Oswald," said the version of her dressed in a fitted red tube dress, with a black accessory belt, much longer hair and red wedge trainers. "Junior Entertainment Manager Starship Alaska!" she said brightly, smiling and doing a half salute. Clara noticed she was carrying a completely unneccessary whisk in her belt.

"Oh great," Clara said under her breath, "you brought the perky one. And you?"

"I'm Clara," the woman in a burgundy corset topped dress and black shawl said, her long hair formed into loose ringlets, balling her fists and putting them on her hips, looking inside the house, smiling, "well, how exciting!" 

"Oh, yes, because a Victorian me is perfectly normal in August 2016," Clara rubbed her forehead. "Doctor," Clara said loudly, "I cannot believe... I can't- did nothing in your brain say, oh do you know what, that might be a bit weird? Is there any way you can make this dinner party more surreal than it actually is?" She fumed, folding her arms. Between meeting all of Cosima's clones, Helena and now this, she was beginning to get a headache coming on.

"Hi," said Ashildr from Clara's right. 

"What- why? Why would you bring her?" Clara asked, staring narrowly. She hadn't seen Ashildr since a not so minor indiscretion between them during the Great Fire of London six months ago that she was 99% certain the Doctor didn't know about.

"I've been keeping an eye on her recently and thought she might fancy a good night out," the Doctor said, wringing his hands. 

"I bet," Clara said under her breath, seeing Ashildr smirking out of the corner of her eye. "Hello Ashildr."

"Me," Ashildr corrected. "Good to see you again, Clara." She was wearing a purple floral blouse, knee high leather boots, black skinny jeans and had collar length hair.

"That is an interesting name," Victorian Clara said.

"When did you pick her up from?" Clara asked the Doctor, pointing to Ashildr.

"Oh," the Doctor said, "I don't do time travel with her, too risky, she's current."

"When was the last time you saw me?" Clara asked her.

"I don't remember," Ashildr smirked, folding her arms. "Finite memory. Maybe London, possibly was quite hot at the time, can't quite be sure." She was definitely lying. 

"Glad it was so memorable for you," Clara snapped loud enough for Ashildr to hear. 

"Clara," said Alison from behind her, "may I have a," she held up her index finger, "small word." She forced a smile. 

"Yes," Clara turned away from the door, "of course." Alison was stood with her arms folded, Cosima hanging back behind her.

"Cosima has told me about an extra three," Alison paused to look outside, "oh my mistake, four people. I only have enough food for eight people... not twelve... wait a minute..." Alison looked at Oswin and Victorian Clara, "wait, you have clones too?"

"They're not clones," the Doctor said, confidently striding in, "they're Echoes. They're her, but scattered throughout time." He was halfway towards the living room. "Might be a difficult concept to grasp, but once you get your head round it, it makes perfect sense."

"Shoes," Alison said in a harsh whisper.

"Yes," said the Doctor pausing, looking down, "I'm wearing some, they're my favourites." Victorian Clara, Oswin and Ashildr followed him in. "So, if there's eleven other people here, I assume I am going to be the natural leader-"

"Who the hell are you?" said Sarah, face creased up.

"I'm the Doctor," he said to the group. "Why do you all look the same?" he begun spinning on the spot pointing. 

"The Doctor?" said Felix, "The Doctor of what?"

"Of lies," said Clara sarcastically under her breath.

"Drugs, I bet it's drugs," Felix said sideways to Sarah. "He has dealer written all over him."

"Shoes!" said Alison loudly. "Please remove your shoes. Donnie! Get the spot cleaner... Can all of you please take your shoes off, I will not tolerate dirt in my house!"

"It's OK," Clara said, "the Doctor, Oswin, other old time Clara and Ashildr were just leaving."

"No we weren't," the Doctor said, not removing his shoes and sitting on the nearest empty seat. "Oh, yes, very comfy." He grinned.

"Cos," Sarah laughed looking at the others, "is she for real? She has clones too?"

"She told me about it but I wasn't expecting this," Cosima nodded, "absolutely fascinating though, how does that even happen? My mind is, like, on overload right now." She took her glasses off to clean the lenses and pushed them back on. 

"So now there's three of you?" Felix smirked at Clara, "no wonder her mind can't cope." Sarah laughed at him.

"Excuse me?" said Clara, shocked, reacting without thinking. 

"Anyway," Felix continued, "aren't you going to introduce us? I like the whole steam punk vibe coming from this one," he waved his hand towards Victorian Clara.

"What curious language you use," Victorian Clara laughed, "you may call me Clara."

"And that I shall," Felix replied.

"I'm Oswin Oswald, Junior Entertainment Manager Starship Alaska," Oswin said infectiously. 

Donnie brought two glasses of white wine into the lounge, handing them to Clara and Cosima before pausing to look around the room. "Ok then," he creased his eyebrows, nodded and then disappeared back to the kitchen. Victorian Clara sat down next to Felix, sitting upright on the edge of the sofa.

"Why you have this?" Helena had removed the whisk from Oswin's utility belt, moving it in her hands as she paced around her. 

"I make soufflés," Oswin said, smiling, unperturbed, taking the whisk back off her, "well, I try, most of them are too good to live."

"What is... soufflé?" Helena grunted, turning to face Clara and glare at her.

"That..." Oswin smiled, pointing to the ceiling with the whisk, "is a very good question. You get some eggs, then you stir-"

"I think... we all... know how to make a soufflé," Alison interrupted Oswin, smiling widely.

"Don't let either of them make one for you," the Doctor added nonchalantly, picking at a couple of the canapés.

"Will your entourage be staying, Clara?" asked Alison, folding her arms, emerging from the kitchen. She smiled falsely. "It will be a squeeze but I'm sure we can accommodate." 

"Yes we will," said the Doctor, interrupting Clara before she could say anything.

"Seemed like it might be fun," said Ashildr, sitting on an empty sofa seat, putting her feet on the coffee table. Clara did not trust Ashildr as far as she could throw her, having her here was making her very uneasy. "Haven't seen that Clara," she watched as Ashildr raised an eyebrow back at her, "for ages. Which one of then is your girlfriend? Is it the Russian?"

"And who do you think you are?" Sarah asked, clearly squaring her up.

"I'm Me," Ashildr replied, eyes glinting back.

"I mean," Sarah rolled her eyes, "what's your name?"

"It's Me," Ashildr said.

"Me?" Felix asked, laughing. "That's your name?"

"Yes," said Ashildr. "Problem?"

"Nope," Felix shook his head, "not at all. How very... bohemian."

"Well then, now we all know our unexpected house guests," Alison pointed to the dining room, "shall we?"

Clara groaned loudly, knowing any attempts to get rid of the Doctor would be futile. She mouthed the words, "I'm sorry," at Cosima, knowing this was going to be a complete car crash of an evening. She dropped her head to look at the floor, deciding the only way to survive was to drink copious amounts of wine and get so drunk she didn't remember a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter it's all going to kick off big style. I'll write it as and when lol.


End file.
